Goals:
- Go on scooner cruise [FAIL, Non-refundable]
- See Blue Angels 1st time in my life [FAIL]
- Clean out garage [FAIL]
- Start construction on 3rd bedroom [FAIL]
- Finish bathroom renovation [FAIL]
- Finish 2008 tax return [FAIL]
- Clean carpets while both kids away [FAIL]
- Organize bills [FAIL]
- Build some spare computers [FAIL]
- Process August pictures [FAIL]
Accomplishments:
- Got Matthew’s cold
- Sick-in-bed for 3 day
- Watched 3 seasons of 30 Rock
Matthew calls out to me “Daddy I’m putting my toe nails into megatron” so I ask the obviouse question “WHY!” his reply: “I’m using them as allspark fragments” I had no further questions.
So another landmark moment came and went. At 7:00am (Tuesday) Maya woke up, ate some froot loops in preparation of going to school for the first time ever. It’s just daycare but we’re calling it school cuz that’s what she wants and Karen will actually teach her stuff so it’s not really a stretch. Thru a stoke of some greater power, the day we decided to do this for Maya and make the call to see if there was room available in Matthew’s old daycare provider, is the same day (give or take) that she had someone cancel on her making a spot available for us. What incredible timing. And I believe she also said that Matthew’s nemessis’ mother called her the same day and booked her for the upcoming school year (Alexander’s little sister that is). If there’s anyone new here, in daycare (3 years ago), Matthew had a nemesis. His name was Alexander. They were the same age, same size, and competed for everything. Attention, toys, alpha superiority of the heard and even for the love of Alexander’s mother (matthew’s first GF). So Maya will now play a similar game with Alexander’s sister. Maya’s 3, the sister is only 1 so they should get along fine, unlike their neanderthal brothers. Ok, I’m off topic… so ya, she’s in daycare, and she with a lady we trusted our firstborn with for 2-3 years so I’m at perfect ease with the situation. Back in the day, on days I took Matthew to daycare, I was stressed, concerned, just… loopy, Tuesday when I dropped Maya off and drove away, I left ALL the stresses of Maya, with her. Mommy in the mean time threw a small party celebrating the exact same thing. We love our little chocolate face, but honestly, she’s killing us. So we left the house about 30min late but happy, she sat in the back seat happy. She started talking the moment she woke up and didn’t stop until I drove away from Karens. Along the way while her lips were moving a mile a minute, she pointed out such pointless things like
“that’s a buuuuuu car daddy!”
“I saw two motersuckers!”
“Wowwwwww look at the size of that building”
“that’s a red car like yours is daddy”
“I’m going to schools today”
“Matthew no come with me to MYYYYYYY school”
“That a yellow car daddy”
“Squirrllllllllllllllll!!!!!!!!!”
“Ohhhhh a bigggggggggggg bussssssssssss!”
It’s a 20min drive to daycare, 300 words/per minute, 6000 words in total and not a single interesting point or fact uttered. Yes she really was excited to go. I can’t wait to pick her up and ask her how her day was. I’m almost positive I’ll get that standard Maya answer on this one:
ME: “Ok maya, time to go home”
MAYA:
Beginning system startup… please wait
BIOS ON
ECHO OFF
Checksum Verified
Start tear flow
Cry mode [ON]
Adjusting whine amplitude [MAX]
System Ready…
Speech outputting: “Wheeeeeeeeeeeeee! I wanna stay here!”
And like clockwork when I picked her up, that’s how it went. On day 2, she was actually happy that I came to pick her up. This is working out great so far.
Check out the images in July 2009. Just finished and there won’t be another picture upload until mid August, so get your fill.
Some people can’t hold their liquor, Maya can’t hold her ice cream. She is so little and so skinny that when eating a sundae she starts to shiver and chatter her teeth. Each spoonful reduces her core temperature by about 1.5 degrees. By the end she’s suffering from hypothermic shock, blue lips and frostbit on her fingertips. She’s so cute.
Ordered Chinese food last night. But got a call back from the restaurant saying that my credit card was no good for some reason so I needed to go get cash, fast. I threw on some pants and put on my shoes. “Daddy can I come with you?” Matthew asked “Sure, you’re dressed, let’s go”. He threw on his crocks and we made for the door. Then little foot steps were heard running towards us “I wanna come too!” Maya grabs her crocks and start putting them on. She was wearing nothing except panties. “Sorry baby you’re not dressed, you can’t come”. She was very upset. I had to run however since food was coming. She even came out onto the front porch yelling “WAIT DADDY! I WANNA COME TOO!”, but I had no time so I told her to get back in the house and drove off.
When I got back to the house the incident was forgotten and she was again playing nicely. Mommy took me aside “You know what she said to me when you left? ‘He left me again’”. I felt so bad cuz I had taken Matthew out on Friday without her as well and she got a little upset. So I went up to her to talk. She was happy and smiling until I said “Maya, do you know why daddy left you?” at that moment her world came crashing down again, her bottom lip flew out so far it could be used as a diving board and she started to cry and babble “daddy you left me matthew went the little one no go with you I wanted to go too daddy”. I was so crushed, I never knew how much such a little incignificant event ment to her. This from the same little girl that give me shit for taking her home from babcia’s house cuz she didn’t want to come home with me. My poor pathetic little girl.
At 1:30am this morning my wife woke me and asked me to remove a lump from her side of the bed. We had a mid-night migration and there was no more room left in the bed for the two of us. I stumbled to my feet. I walked around the bed and uncovered the bed pirate. I looked down and was utterly confused (keep in mind it’s really late). I saw a small body lying there belly down. I thought, this is too small to be Matthew, but this is also too big to be Maya. I puzzled over which bed to put the vagrant into but was still unsure what I was dealing with. Unable to piece together the obvious clues (wearing diaper/pull-up, long hair, blue dankie, 666 in the nape of neck) I asked my wife “Hey, who’s kid is this?” Her response was “It’s Maya you dumbass”. Sure enough she was right, I picked up the lump and immediately it started bitching at me. So to Maya’s bed she went. My little girl who was so small and petit is now a bed hogging giant. I don’t want her to grow up 
For some time now Maya has been talking endlessly and nonstop all the time while she’s awake and playing. Occasionally the conversation will leave her immediate circle of friends and toys and she address us on some subject.
“Mommy, the little one would like a peanut and bulla sanwish”
“Mommy, don’t forget the little one”
“We are going to toyrus with the little one?
What it turns out is that this mysterious “Little One” is in actuality her. She calls herself the little one. It’s all cute and adorable until she gets around to the other half of her sentences where mother and I are referred to as “the BIGGGGGGGG ones”. Time to get reacquainted with the towel rack, I mean treadmill.
We have a new state of the art crapped in the upstairs bathroom now. Not Japan state of the art but pretty fancy for North America. It has 2 buttons in the top of the toilet tank. One is for going #1 and one is for going #2. These buttons regulate the volume of water that is used to flush the payload. We all love it. It’s like a little adventure after every deposit. Matthew never forgets to flush because it’s just so cool to do so. The other day, he had a squat, did his business and pressed BOTH buttons. Mommy was quick to call him on it:
“No Matthew only press 1 button or it will break”
“But mommy! I made a terd and a pee”
Five year old logic wins again.
