An email from his mother

Fluid Reclamation

If Maya was split into a ratio she’d be 98% usless and 2% useful (with a 4% probability of error). Why she even scored a positive integer in the useful category has something to do with what happens when she spills something on the floor. She will actually go over to the drawer (where we keep her clean bibs and fresh hand towels), pull out either and try her little heart out at wiping up the mess she made.

Last night Maya was playing around with Matthew. In the process she spilled the Caffeine-Free Pepsi he had stolen from me. So being the 2% she is, she went and grabbed a bib out of the drawer and proceeded to wipe up the mess she made. Upon completion, she didn’t just put the wet bid back into the drawer like she usually does, instead she put it in her mouth and sucked the sweet delicious floor-flavoured Pepsi out of it. Well as much as she could before I spazed and pulled it away from her.

The height of dorkdom

Being the tech savy hetero that I am, I’ve been downloading media off of the internet to play on my three mod’ed Xbox media centers. Stuff like, well, every episode of Spongebob Square Pants so that when my son wants to watch, I can just turn it on and let it run until it stops (20.9 hours) or he looses interest. Among one of the things I got recently was an old show that I as a kid loved more then candy; Thundercats! Hoooooooooooooooooo!!!!I’ve been watching this in secret so my wife doesn’t call me a dork and so my son isn’t exposed to the horrific violence and stupidity/awesomeness of this show. A few nights ago he caught me watching it on my computer.

HE: “What are you watching daddy?”
ME: “D’OH! (he caught me) Ok, I’ll show you. This is Thundercats (in my head Hoooooooooooo!!).

This is the best cartoon ever made on TV and when daddy was a little boy he watched this everyday after school. It was so awesome and I loved it and it was cool cuz there was Lion-O, Lord of the Thundercats (Hooooooooooooo!!) and Panthro and Cheetara and she was so hot and fast and then Tigra was cool…..”I was boring him I guess. I wasn’t finished but he just left. F’em! I had my Thundercats. I watched for about 10min. Chrissy walked by so I quickly turned it off and pretended I was looking at porn so she wouldn’t call me a dork. That fooled her. Last night, bed time, we’re getting ready to head to my bed and watch some TV.

ME: “OK buddy, what are we gonna watch before bedtime?”
HE: “Daddy, I wanna watch Thundercats”

I gasped, and paused. I have never to this day, been so proud of my son. I wanted to give him the biggest, coolest Hi-5 he’d ever received, but I knew his mommy was in the other room so I just kept the glow inside, to myself. I convinced him that Spoongebob was more appropriate for a 3 (almost 4) year old to watch. With some hesitation he agreed. My secret is safe for now. I look forward to the near future when me and my son will go downstairs, fire up the 62″ DLP, crank up the Dolby Digital 2.0 and have a weekend long Thundercat-a-thon (Hooooooooooo!). It’ll have to be a long weekend however, I’ve got 47.6 hours of episodes.