Attack of the clone

For the purpose of the cool title I thought up, Maya is our little clone. The story begins with me laying on the couch watching Matthew watch SpongeBob. Maya was there somewhere too putting a diaper on a dolly or something. After about 5 minutes to silence I see her approach. She walks right up to my face, zero expression on her face at this point, she makes a small fist and clocks me right in the head. Holding that same blank expression she turned around and walked away. Back to whatever she was doing. I sat there puzzled for a minute, quite impressed with both the force and accuracy of her blow, but with no apparent motive to the attack I was stuck as to what to do. Do I punish her? Do I ask her what that was for? What the hell? All I had was circumstantial evidence and no motive. I couldn’t punish with such a weak case. So I let it slide. I wonder what went thru her little grapefruit sized brain.

Maybe someting like this:

“Damn it I wanted to watch Merlin not spongebob, I’ll show him”
“These diapers are too restrictive, I’ll show him”
“Why is he not doing the dishes or something, I’ll show him”
“I asked for a drink 10 minutes ago and I’m still waiting, I’ll show him”
“My hair is constantly in my face, I’ll show him”
“Where’s my mother, I’ll show him”
“I must not be ignored, I’ll show him”
“It’s too damn hot in this house, I’ll show him”
“I just figured out what that sign on my bedroom door says, I’ll show him”
“He hasn’t posted a blog about me in weeks, I’ll show him”
“I wonder if I’ll get in trouble if I cold cock my old man in the face?”

You got some ideas? Post a comment, anyone out there?

I’m with stupid

I have in the past disciplined my son by putting him in his room. Most of the time it was for not listening, or hitting Maya or for throwing, yelling, punching, kicking, running, not eating the list goes on and on. But I must say I have never punished him for being stupid. This weekend, I did just that. I was heard by most of my neighbours yelling out “Matthew! Something that stupid needs to be punished!” So I picked him up kicking and screaming and put him in his room. He felt he was being unjustly punished.

It rained this weekend. So there were small puddles of water all over the deck and their little plastic jungle-jim/slide play set. What I witnessed was Matthew facedown on the flat landing of the play set sucking up a puddle into his mouth. “Matthew! Are you drinking that water?!” he looked up and with cheeks like a hamster stowing nuts, smiled and squired water out of his mouth. At this point I lost it and took him to his room. We have a bath every night before bed and one of the things I’m constantly bitching at him and his sister is to NOT drink the bath water. A point I’ve been trying to get thru to both of them since their birth. I’m loosing here.